Similar To Pissing Into Fish-Piss Infested Waters

Sick-as-a-dog middle-aged inpatient? Check.

Said patient actively experiencing delirium tremens requiring large doses of Ativan? Check.

Same patient also diagnosed with COPD after years of smoking like a chimney? Check and check.

Now, wrap this lovely lady in an ill-fitting hospital gown, add a hospitalist who orders everything and a complementary kitchen sink on every patient, and schedule a nuclear stress test on my call weekend.

The scene: One of the many cardiac testing room in Humble Hospital, with everyone’s favorite hobbit-sized medic in the middle of explaining the stress test.

“Now, as I mentioned before, the nurse injects the medication, which will be followed by a second dose of the radioactive tracer-“

“Radioactive tracer?”

“Yes…the nuclear medicine tech injected you with it yesterday when he did your resting pictures…”

“How much radiation am I getting then?”

*blink blink*

“I’m not sure about that, but I’m sure the nuclear medicine tech will be able to answer that question when he gets here.”

“Oh…okay. I’m just worried about what damage the radiation will do to my body.”
end scene

Lady, with all due respect, the cigarrettes and drinking like a fish for years did far more damage to you than the technetium might possibly do at this point…

~ by minimedic on June 19, 2013.

6 Responses to “Similar To Pissing Into Fish-Piss Infested Waters”

  1. Good to see you back, darlin’. Don’t think all of your post made it to your blog but anything is better than nothing. Can’t wait for the rest of the story…
    Hope you and the Eltee (I guess I should call him Di-wee now, though) are doin’ well and the Green Machine isn’t grinding you down. Take care.

    • Eltee is still an LT, as promotions have been pushed back because of who-the-hell-knows why.

      It’s work that’s kicking my ass now, but it’s okay, I’ve endured far worse than this place.

  2. Good post I love it when Alcoholics and heavy smoke come in and worry about how much radiation they are going to get during the MRI. Nothing close to what you are doing to your body is what I tell them.

  3. Any bets on her, ‘fainting’ during the stress test??? :-) Glad to see you posting again!!!

    • Fainting is fairly rare with Lexiscan, as the patient remains supine with their head elevated for the duration of the test…but yeah, I had a feeling she’d be a danger to multiple people if the doc was a enough of a dumbass to order the walking version of the test.

  4. This is sort of like the junkie who doesn’t want me to start an IV because he’s afraid of needles.

    Huh?

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