MiniPup’s IQ > Coworker IQ

Exhibit A: Puppy’s Morning Routine
1.) MiniPup and I wake up. MiniPup goes outside and has her morning chow while I finish waking up as my scrubs run through the steam refresh cycle on the dryer.
2.) MiniPup and I head upstairs. I make myself presentable for public appearance while the furball sits on my clean scrubs.
3.) Clad in scrubs, Pup and I head downstairs. MiniPup heads into her kennel for the duration of my workday. She usually does this with little to no prompting. (We have a blanket in there for her to burrow in.)
4.) MiniPup recieves her daily greenie.

Exhibit B: Co-Workers
1.) The Dragon Lady (my boss) will send me back to help out my former group as the need arises.
2.) At a certian time on specified days, I’m expected to cover lunches for them. On these days, I show up before that time.
3.) I show up on one of those days to cover lunches. It’s that time, but the co-worker that’s supposed to go to lunch first is nowhere to be found until ten minutes after my appearance.
4.) Late co-worker who’s been in department far longer than me: “Contact me directly when you get here.”

If my mixed-breed doxie realizes that me in scrubs means “go in kennel” without me uttering a word, how come humans can’t figure out “Mini in department at o’lunchtime-thirty” means “go to lunch,” especially when this is a well-established fact?

Am I asking too much here?

Stop Poking Me With A Stick, I’m Not Dead.

Two months into 2013, I shall resolve to blog more and keep up on more blogs.

Quick update:  Accepted a new job similar to what I was doing before, but more stress tests and pokin’ peeps with needles. (Which I am horribly rusty at, unfortunately. Erk. Thank you, coworkers, for subjecting yourself to my attempts.) It’s also full-time with private practice clinic hours, so I get a steady schedule, benefits, and weekends off. This job isn’t what I pictured myself doing when I got my National Registry back, but once again, one can’t be picky in this economy…even if an EMS company DID call me about a part-time job I had applied for months ago. (Damn.)

Since accepting said position is causing staffing shortages in my old department, I’ll pulling overtime back there, which leaves me working six days a week. I will probably spend my next few Sundays catching up on housework and outside tasks, as the Army kidnapped the Chia Pet for the next week or two.

For those of you who still visit, I hope you are doing well. (Do not get me started on politics. A pox on you, politicians of Washington, D.C. Except for the very few still fighting for what the Constitution still stands for.)

Time to hit the pool…blog catch-up to occur soon. Hopefully. Maybe.

Not Due Until November 2013, Actually. ..

Dearest local Planned Parenthood, while I am grateful that I was able to obtain my birth control medication from your organization last year, I must inform you that my primary care doctor told me I get to drop to 3-year Pap smear. So no, I am NOT DUE FOR MY DAMN PAP, BASTARDS!

Also, $30 bucks for a monthly supply of pills fron your organization versus $5 Tricare co-pay through the Local Grocery Store Pharmacist? I ain’t so good at this math thing, but I’m fairly sure I’d rather pay under half my hourly pay rate than over twice it. (I also get to ask Mr. Pharmacist about any potential medication interactions.)

I may have my blonde moments, but every now and then I make intelligent decisions.

Oy. I really am just a uterus with a wallet, aren’t I?

Home Security and Safety Lessons For Home-Alone Ladies From MiniMedic: Part 1

(For those of you familiar with my policy of unfamiliar visitors, keep reading. If not, please proceed to here  and here to read previous blog posts on the subject.)

A former college classmate wrote this gem recently:

“I really hate it when people come to the door when I am home alone with baby, even if you are trying to make an honest living and even if I feel bad that you are freezing…”

Lady, why in the Sam Hill do you open the bloody door to begin with? If I see an unfamilar or unexpected face at the door and hubby is nowhere near, THE DOOR DOES NOT UNLOCK OR OPEN. I don’t care who it is or what it’s selling or begging for, I am not wasting my time on unsolicited callers. We’re armed to the gills, but I REALLY don’t want to have to resort to that measure, as ammunition is a tad bit expensive at the moment, and it’ll make a mess that I really don’t want to clean up.

Can you tell I’ve spent a boatload of time living alone and that I trust no one?

(Someone did impart the same advice to her that I have just imparted to y’alls. Glad to see most of my half of the species isn’t completely brain-addled.)

A Conundrum, Of Sorts

I’d like to think that I’ve done well career-wise, considering I uprooted myself from everything to move halfway across the country. I’ve managed to re-earn my National Registry, ACLS, and hopefully PALS here soon.

My friend Libby recently told me that her workplace would LOVE to have me. (As in, give us your resume and we make an employement offer.) Even more tempting, they will allow me to practice more like a medic in terms of medication administration, patient assessment, and patient education. I could go part-time and get benefits.

There’s one catch: I would work for the largest elective abortion provider in the United States. Yes, THAT one with women in dancing vagina costumes.

I’m torn between upsetting my family and throwing away my one chance to prove to future hospital/EMS providers that I’m more than tech material.

Comments would be greatly appreciated.

The REAL Reasons Techs Won’t Divulge Your Test Results To You

No, it’s not because we have no idea what we’re looking at. Most of my coworkers (myself included) could tell you what’s going on, and even rattle off a few treatment options. The number of medical professionals who can’t read or do an 12-lead would astound you, as I’ve had nurses come to me ask “How does this look?” (I answer them honestly in terms of results, and I give them a realistic window in which to expect the cardiologist-confirmed results.)

No, the real reason we won’t tell the results is due the barrage of questions that follow if said test result is abnormal or unexpected. The course of action that follows after abnormal test results must be discussed and determined by you and your care provider, who *should* have a better understanding of your overall state of health, as certain treatment options may not be open to you.

I will leave you with a few hints, though: No news is good news, and most of those techs do know when to call the doc and say, “You need to take a look at this RIGHT THE HELL NOW.”

Curse My Reliability!

My beloved and not-so-beloved co-workers and managers of two different departments have been in dire need of my services for the past few weeks. Since I’m a hardworking Republican shift whore, I racked far more hours than I usually would. Stress levels are only helped by days off and cuddles with Doxy.

I know I’ve said this before, but normal blogging should return soon…